El confinamiento al que nos obliga la cuarentena tiene, por supuesto, además de los efectos sociales, sanitarios y económicos, efectos subjetivos, somáticos y emocionales. Ya hemos visto la exigencia a la que nos vemos sometidos ciudadanos y ciudadanas. Atravesar día tras día como un largo trayecto de convivencia familiar a la que no estábamos acostumbrados o acostumbradas. Llenar el día con actividades para no caer en la rutina interminable. Las tareas domésticas, las clases de la escuela en casa y por computadora. Buscar en tutoriales recetas de platos nuevos para que el tiempo vaya pasando. Tutoriales que nos enseñan a lavar la ropa, cortarnos o teñirnos el pelo. Reemplazar el encuentro amoroso con nuestros hijos, nietos, padres, amigos, por una imagen difusa y nunca demasiado satisfactoria.
A medida que la cuarentena se va alargando, asistimos a un cambio paulatino de escenario. Imperceptiblemente, comenzamos a advertir que ciertas conductas activas frente a esta adversidad se fueron transformando. Y aparecen, en su lugar, cierta quietud y abulia que no son otra cosa que un efecto anestesiante del encierro. La sensación de fatiga y abulia como efecto inmediato; el repliegue subjetivo. Ya hay pocas cosas que despierten nuestro interés o algún entusiasmo. Los días van pasando como una infinita cinta de Moebius, en donde las rutinas domésticas y cotidianas se van reproduciendo ad infinitum y en forma automática. Hay menos interés en contactarse con amigos y amigas, poca ilusión y mucho miedo. Las relaciones intrafamiliares y entre las parejas se amesetan y pierden intensidad. Se naturalizó el encierro, se adormeció el deseo, se anestesió el malestar.
Hasta aquí, una descripción de lo que percibo a mi alrededor y también en mí misma. Y me preocupó, y no pude menos que asociar cuántas de esas situaciones se asemejan a aquellas que conocemos referidas a las mujeres… Sin pandemia ni cuarentena ni confinamiento obligatorio, éste sigue siendo el lugar de muchas mujeres en nuestra sociedad. Adentro, con tareas repetidas hasta el cansancio, monótonas y faltas de creatividad, de gratificación o de algún tipo de reconocimiento.
Tareas domésticas ingratas e invisibles, crianza de niños y niñas a lo largo de 24 horas por día y 7 días a la semana. Relaciones de pareja insalubres, muchas veces violentas y de maltrato cotidiano. Indiferencia y transparencia. No ser vista ni registrada ni tenida en cuenta salvo estar disponible ante la demanda de las demás personas. Insatisfacción y desvitalización. La fatiga interminable, los días interminables, la letanía y el letargo. Letargo que no es sueño ni cansancio, ni siquiera tristeza o dolor. La naturalización de la quietud, del no deseo, del acostumbramiento.
La cuarentena y las mujeres, el letargo ya conocido y peligroso. La anestesia de los sentidos, de las emociones y del deseo. El letargo en la cuarentena se parece mucho a esto. A aquello a lo que muchas mujeres se ven sometidas, que no han podido aún percibir y que tienen naturalizado. Sabemos de esto. Y también sabemos que es un enemigo peligroso. Es el letargo. Adormecedor, anestesiante y abúlico. Cuidado. A despertarse y a seguir, aún en cuarentena.
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